Today I thought She was going to tip tap at the machine all day.
I tried my usual ruse of sitting on her feet, chewing her pencils noisily, following her to the loo - the tried and tested - and I even did a bit of loud snoring while guarding, to draw attention to myself, but she ignored everything, including my 'Don't you think you should check outside is still outside.' bark which normally gets her moving. Nothing. I think She really has gone deaf.

Anyway, I decided she wasn't happy because I thought that 'He who runs fast's room needed the aroma of dog urine to improve its ambience.
Oddly no one appreciated my efforts to improve the general quality of
the olfactory experience in the house. Everyone shouted - not just She and because they don't speak dog I was, as usual, quite unable to explain the error of their ways.

I've been having She-speaking lessons from 'Loudest Bark.' When I'm finally able to meet him at the Big Green. His pet is an English professor. I did point out that the longest word She knows is 'chocolate,'
but I am still determined to widen my vocabulary on the off chance someone in the pack gets educated.